Wailing Into The Void

From now on when people ask me what I do for a living I’m going to politley inform them that I’m not smart enough to explain it to them.

I slept through most of my social studies classes in high school, so I’m not all that clear on how Senators decide who gets listed as a sponsor of a bill. If somebody has some kind of veto authority on these matters that person probably should have gone up to Larry Craig and David Vitter and said “Look, I think it might be a good idea for you two to sit this one out”.

I’d like to give a shout out to porky journeyman pitcher Sidney Ponson, who pitched six scoreless innings against the Mets tonight in his first start with the Yankees since being acquired last week. Although there is little to suggest that his strong performance tonight was anything more than a fluke, I can hold at a glimmer of hope that Ponson will turn out to be the 2008 version of Shawn Chacon or Aaron Small.

Oh, and maybe ninjas.

Who would have guessed that somebody who works very closely with Dick Cheney could be so arrogant and abrasive?

This is ridiculous. How we can name a place designed to handle shit after a President with a proven inability to handle shit? It doesn’t make sense, people.

I’m squirting neurotransmiters into your brain. Well, not really, but it sounds like it would be a lot of fun if I could actually do it.

If we accept the premise that the primary goal of television producers is to keep people watching, it should come as no surprise that they place a premium on putting people on air who look good and sound good, as opposed to putting people on who have something valuable to say or even know what they’re talking about.

According to Gallup 44% of Americans and 60% of Republicans generally agree with the statment “God created humans as is within the last 10,000 years.” As a devout Last Thursdayist I believe, of course, that the universe was created last Thursday. I also believe last Thursday was more than 10,000 years ago because I believe God froze the universe in suspended animation for over 500,000 years sometime last Sunday afternoon.

Charlie Black makes a Kinsley Gaffe. We can expact the media to downplay this because it’s not like Charlie Black actually thinks a terrorist attack would be a good thing. He just thinks it would be a big advantage to his boss, and he thought it would be a good idea to say that out loud to a reporter.